BattleDad and I have come to the conclusion that children are magnets and you’ll understand why as you read on.
Picture the scene. You’ve just made a lovely cup of tea (or coffee), your children are playing nicely with their toys on the living room floor and you sink into the couch to enjoy that cuppa. All of a sudden your children decide they must sit beside you, or on you, or behind you, and bam, the cup is spilled all over you, the couch, the floor and the dog. Every. Single. Time. If you leave the cup on the floor or coffee table thinking it’s safe, you’re wrong. That cup too will find it’s way to toppling over courtesy of your darling children and most likely their feet. Just one example of how children are magnets.
Scene number 2. It’s a lazy Saturday morning and you’re all in bed watching (insert your own appropriate title) Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. The birds are singing, the sun is shining outside, your little one is singing along to the Hot Dog song and you are in a blissful state of dozing. Bam, an elbow digs into your boobs or Dad lets outs a yelp as a foot kicks him in the family jewels and that lovely quiet time is abruptly halted by someone getting injured in the most inappropriate of places. Head butting also falls into this category! And if you’ve already got an injury such as a stubbed toe you can be guaranteed they will stand on it every time they come near you as I found out recently. Children are magnets.
Third and last scene. Your little one is playing very nicely with their dolls/cars and you figure you can quickly hang up the clothes sitting in the washing machine. It’ll only take 5 minutes, they seem happy enough and sure, they’ll come find you or yell out a “mama” if they need you. You return 5 minutes later, delighted the washing is finally out of the machine, only to find a lovely new mural on your walls and realise they’ve found that damn pen you mislaid last night! Why oh why couldn’t you find it last night after a half an hour of searching and yet they find it and draw a lovely picture of, erm, something on your walls all in 5 minutes. Damn you wet clothes. Eraser sponges anyone?
And these, among many more reasons I will list, are why BattleDad and I have come to the conclusion that children are magnets, especially BattleKid!
By definition a magnet is a material or object that produces a magnetic field. This magnetic field is invisible but is responsible for the most notable property of a magnet: a force that pulls on other magnetic materials and attracts or repels other magnets. Magnets can also be described as
“a person or thing that has a powerful attraction”.
It’s like there is an unseen, unexplained force drawing our children to things, places and objects we either don’t want them to be near/at/have or situations where danger lurks around the corner. Tea is the main force which pulls Magnetic BattleKid into its force field. As soon as one of us has a cup of tea in our hand he’s there, arms swinging, legs kicking, any action that will cause a collision with said cup and cause a spillage. And no amount of precautionary action can prevent the attraction between BattleKid and our tea!
As I’ve said there are many reasons why we have labelled children as magnets, so here’s a list of all the things or situations we can think of that cause a magnetic reaction in children.
- Hot tea and coffee. No matter where you are as long as the drink is hot, they’re there!
- Delicate parts of the body ripe for injuring such as breasts, family jewels, noses, toes.
- Open doors. Why do our children automatically make a beeline for these. Leave the front door open and you can be sure a small person will be out it quicker than you can blink.
- Just like doors, roads are too inviting to children. Even after pulling into our driveway after nursery I have to talk to BattleKid about NOT going near the road and have to keep directing him to the front door. Funny how they never want to go through the door into the house!
- Strange cats or dogs. In fact most animals are like a magnetic field to children. I often think it’s worse when you have a pet at home as they don’t realise not all dogs or cats are like yours at home, particularly while they are toddlers. It gets a bit easier once they can understand what you are telling them.
- Children are never really bothered by a cold oven from what I’ve experienced but as soon as it’s on they’re there. I don’t know if it’s just the light or sound of the fan but BattleKid is always near the oven when it’s on. I spend my entire time, while cooking, trying to keep him away from it.
- As soon as they learn to walk or climb, stairs become the forbidden fruit for children so you’d best be prepared with those stair gates. To date we have 4 in our house, two at the bottom of each set of stairs, one at the top of our stairs on our landing and one across BattleDad’s office to keep little fingers away from things he shouldn’t have or be at.
- Sweet aisles in shops. No matter how much you try to avoid them, invariably there is an invisible force field pulling your children into them.
- Door cracks. By this I mean the gap between your door and the frame on the hinges side where little fingers can get trapped. Why is it that one of the most dangerous part of a door is the one they insist on putting their fingers into?
- Much like ovens, candles are of no interest to children when they’re unlit but as soon as there is a flame they morph into moths! Those days of enjoying a scented candle are confined to post bedtime in our house for the foreseeable future.
- Now this isn’t one we’ve had problems with personally, yet, but I’ve seen many mums discuss their children’s antics with the toilet including Kellie of My Little Babog. Why do toddlers especially feel the need to throw everything they can get their hands on down a toilet? As I’ve said we’ve gone unscathed where these are concerned for now, and I’m not sure if it is because we always leave it closed, but so far we’ve escaped the blocked toilet magnet.
- Dogs water bowls. For quite a while after he turned 1 BattleKid was drawn to the dogs water bowl. He would wash in it, put toys in it and even attempt to drink from it until I started lifting it up every morning. He’s not so bothered with it these days but occasionally a ball ends up in it with him going “yuck, mammy wash it”!
- Open water. Following on from dogs bowls I’ve found lakes to be a big magnet for BattleKid, not helped by his confidence around water from his swimming lessons. He doesn’t understand why he can’t stand right at the water’s edge to watch the ducks seeing as he can at swimming. For now I hold on tight to him until he’s old enough to understand why mum says no around lakes.
- Left lying around, pens are a huge reason why we think children are magnets. As I’ve said you dare to think all is ok if you’ve left a pen lying around, or worse misplaced one. They will find it and use it to your detriment as already discussed.
- Keyboards. In our house these are a big magnetic force for BattleKid. It doesn’t help that there are several in the house, of all shape and size for various reasons, and whether it’s at mum or dad’s pc, a laptop keyboard or our TV one, BattleKid just has to tap the keys, especially if you are trying to do work on it yourself.
- Children are magnets when it comes to puddles, particularly when they don’t have suitable footwear on! Every time BattleKid sees “oh water” as he puts it, he insists on going straight over to it and stamping in it to make a “splash”. We’ve often had to take his shoes off in the car after nursery when it’s been raining due to wet shoes and socks!
- Phones and tablets. Again children are magnets when it comes to either of these technological gadgets and even at a young age they start trying to swipe the screen and press buttons!
- Stones on the ground. They just have to be kicked. Only they are currently kicked backwards as someone hasn’t mastered forward kicking of stones yet.
- BattleKid has an obsession at the moment with opening the bin at home, even if he has nothing to put it in. I am forever asking him to come away from the bin and washing his hands afterwards.
So there you have it. The 19 things in our house we consider the biggest factors why we think children are magnets. All but one can be applied to BattleKid at one time or another and continue to be present on a day-to-day basis. Are there any not on our list we should be watching out for? Forewarned is forearmed!
Thanks for reading!